by Chris James
(published October 2015)
I have an almost genetic addiction to soccer. Thus, as a faithful follower of the U.S. women's soccer team for many years, their towering performance in winning this year's World Cup went immediately to the top of my "best of" list. Apparently, there were some who did not share my adoration.
The newspaper featured the U.S. women's soccer team's success in their Sports section. Surprisingly, analysis of the team's accomplishments was written by a sports columnist who wouldn't know a soccer ball from a Nerf ball. The explanation for this odd journalistic choice quickly became apparent. After a few obligatory faint praises, Mr. How-Do-You-Spell-Soccer raised his true colors. Through his brilliant and meticulous investigative reporting, he had discovered that, among the 23 team members, only one "ethnic" was represented.
(Ethnic: A misused, ugly noun corrupted from the adjective.) His column became a turgid sermon on the sin of Lack of Diversity, culminating with the inference that, because of this lack, the U.S. women's soccer team had not represented our country well. Huh? For Pete's sake, they won a World Cup, you nitwit!
Out of curiosity, I wondered how we normal humans would go about establishing a Politically-Correct-Approved win. A quick trip around the Internet revealed that "ethnic," properly used as an adjective, wanders all over the map. Words like "race," "culture," "nation," "group" frolic around with abandon. Any selection from this definitional mish-mash will make it abundantly clear that there are multitudes of ethnicities on the planet. (Ethnicity: A noun coined in the 50's to replace the misuse of the adjective "ethnic.") A pragmatic application to Diversity would require that this ethnic flood be channeled into large, clumsy, meaningless conglomerates---as in today's Asians, Hispanics, etc.
Next, with a cumbersome Diversity template established, how are Diversity candidates ("Diversidates") going to access World Cup soccer? Today's path starts with girls 6-10 years old in community soccer leagues, evolving into High School intermural competition, then college. The best college players join professional teams; the best professionals are selected for the national team.
For Diversidates navigating this path to soccer greatness, the Diversity boost at the college entrance level may be unreliable at best due to several High Court decisions against reverse discrimination. Nevertheless, Diversity still has a toe in the door. However, colleges are somewhat gun-shy about sticking their necks out on the subject because of past legal history. Their general attitude can probably be summed up by Cal's recent display of disingenuous respectability, dressed up in the sheep's clothing of "flexibility." The gist of it was: "In assessing student applications for admission, consideration (note, not "prioritization") of racial ethnicity may (not "should," nor "must") be considered (not "implemented")." Well, folks, how did that work for you?
Fast forward to Women's World Cup Soccer, 2023. The U.S. team, once the dominant force in women's soccer for over 25 years, is now ranked 38th in the world. In the opening round, the U.S. has been drawn against Tristan da Cunha, a game that the U.S. is expected to win---if for no other reason than the 23 members of the da Cunha team represent the island's entire population of able-bodied females between the ages of 15 and 50.
Phone-in post-game comments by the U.S. team manager, talking to---and being interrupted by---a network news-person: "....a stunning game for the U.S. in our special Diverse rainbow uniforms. Eleven gorgeous hues, each a humble tribute to the eleven, proud ethnicities in our country. A shimmering, magisterial quilt that....Excuse me? The score? Well, that's not really the point I'm....Well, if you must know, it was seven to zero, but....No, it wasn't a great win. It's the other side who scored seven....O.K., I agree it's disgraceful. Not a shred of Diversity on that team. Not one single ethnic."
